Beyond Bunny, Eggs and Chocolates

Before I delivered, I was reminded that I am first and foremost the child of God. Only then am I a steward of His gift, my child. I am only a mother to my child, to care, to love and to nurture... I've learnt to "seek first His kingdom of righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well". All these things include her development, her skills set, her growth, her intellect, her gifts. ALL of the things that I worry that she will lack of to survive in this world. And these few days, I am reminded again of the Creator, who loves our darling more than we do. More than I could ever imagine. He is after all, the giver of life.

It is our darling's first Easter and also our first's with her. Our heavenly Father's sacrificed His one and only Son, is an act that shows the extent of His love for us. Endless. Indescribable. Holding our darling in our arms, reflecting His goodness.. just magnifies further His faithfulness in my life.It is my heartfelt prayer that our darling will encounter Him at a tender young age and will live purposefully and powerfully. As always, will pray over her that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen her with power through his Spirit in her inner being, so that Christ may dwell in her hearts through faith. And I pray that she, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that she may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.(Ephesians 3:16-19)... I am a kiasu mom after all *wink*

Employer from Hell

I am one, I believe. At least to my maid! Sometimes Most of the times I wonder what's really in her mind. She has been with us for almost a year and I still have to keep telling her what to do. Of course, things like sweeping and mopping the floor every day is auto tasks for her. I think that's about it. I have to remind her to wipe after cleaning the tables, clean the sippy cup to sterilize, packets of stored breast milk to MIL's place in the morning (we send our baby to MIL with the maid to babysit her while we are at work), her solids, to clean up the kitchen cabinet especially where the rice cooker is, to put away cleaned and dried utensils.. and many more? Does she expect me to clean up after her all the time? Or am I her PA to remind her all the time? There are times I would remind myself that she has the mind of a maid, meaning with lack of education and hence the brain has somehow stopped progressing! I have given her a schedule in her 1st week on tasks to be done on daily and even woke up with her to ensure things are properly done. It was ok in the beginning and slack after a while, which is expected.


The recent incidents really blew me off! I have given her a notepad to jot down notes since she always says "Aiyo, tak ingat" (aiyo, don't remember). Once or twice is fine but countless times to hear the same statement! For God's sake, that's the very reason you are given the notepad. Grrr... even angrier when I asked her to take out her notes. "Sudah kobek" Torn??!! Though it was not the first time I scolded her (my hubby and I play different role. He's the gentle type and me the fierce one ;p), but she told me for the very first time and say that she wants to tell the agent that she wants to quit and go back. My answer. OK! She cried and cried and cried. It was not the first time she threatened to go back. She said that to MIL and hubby, but never to me whenever I scolded her. Then again, who would want to approach a tigress? I came out from her room and went back in 5 mins later to sort of made amends ;p And as usual, silence. And knowing that I wouldn't get anything from her (not even an apology, which she always have reasons for overlooking), I told her that it will be us to dictate the last date.


Sigh, and she did her usual tasks the next morning at our home and in-law's. Then I told my hubby, looks like her threat backfires. If she really wanted to go back, why would she complete the house chores albeit with a black face and only tell me after all the threats to them in the past. We had a hard time getting her medical report to be approved, that is another long story deserving a new post... it's only another year to go and our baby will be old enough to be sent off to nursery. So, I shall be patient. At least, no more broken stuff every month, no missing things, no unexplainable bruises on my baby, no.. no.. no..  Well, we are still thankful in certain ways and unfortunately, until there's lesser 'overlooks and mistakes', she just has to bear with a tigress as her employer for now and me, a helper who is only helpful when she's up to her mood. 

Maid, oh maid.. ..

Growing too fast!

Do all mothers feel the same? That their child(ren) growing up too fast? I for sure am feeling that way now. At 7m3w, I have not stopped feeling that I need to catch up with my darling's development. Fearing that I will miss out her many firsts ie sitting, crawling, walking or worse... her first words of mama or papa! Gasp!!! I can't ask her to wait till the weekends for me to spending time with her and show me her new found skills right? Thank God that I do not have to work late like I used to but still, reaching home at about 8-ish and to rush over dinner just to catch up with her before she dozes off... Sigh, the pain of a working mom?

My Darling..

At 7mo

Superparents

With information just a click away, there are so much information that we need to digest. And not to mention enthusiastic well wishers who would like to give a piece of their advise. I am glad that I have learnt a bit about attachment parenting. It is so totally opposite from my beliefs before I delivered her. Then again, I only know the skills from the best babysitter in the whole universe! My own mother. I realized then that with the education my mom has given me, I should have at least read more. Though my mom practices co-sleeping, there are more explanations and studies done on parenting. And I don't think there will be a time that I am confident to say that I am ready to be a mother.

What this post about? It's just to note on one of the links I read and would recommend to others - http://www.superparents.com.my/

I am a mother!

Baby is now 7mo. And it is still as hard to believe that I am now a mother. Thankful indeed of His faithfulness to give us such a healthy and beautiful daughter. I just can't imagine.. it seems so unbelievable but here I am, holding her in my arms. Embracing every moments I spent with her. Being a working mom, I wish I could be there with her when she says her first syllabus, takes her first step, all of her very firsts. Then again, I know that deep down I need to learn to let go of her, knowing that I am merely His steward for such a beautiful gift. I am taking one step at a time, one baby step of faith each day, surrendering her well being to Him. I pray that I will continue to be mindful to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" ~ Matt 6:33. It is my desire that she will grow up to be a woman after His heart, a woman who lives purposefully.. for I know, all will be well when we are close to Our Creator.