Am truly grateful for His provision

In my earlier post, I mentiond how we finally settled Missy in a daycare after some search. And a month later, we got a notice that the principal is closing it down! GASP! Horror of all horrors. This can't be happening, but then, it's the best she could do at that moment. She tried to look for others to take over or supervise when she is not around, but since she doesn't want to let go to those who are profit-centred (though the fees are considerably high where we can engage a babysitter to take care more personally than 16 kids at a time, but we calculated that the profit margin is not that high either). She really does it for passion and love for the children and I am truly grateful that I found such a gem. Of course, to hear such a news from her - CLOSING DOWN! I almost cried. I think I did tear in a way. It has been such a long time since I cried, crying for His intervention. Sigh, we really need to have such dramatic change in our lives to bring us to our knees eh? Oh well, I prayed unceasingly, claiming His promises. He won't play a joke on something so close to my heart, Missy. He is in control right? No doubt it is a wake up call not just to me, but I believe to the principal too (another story), but am thankful that the conclusion after 2-3 weeks wait.. a partner came into the picture and the daycare will not be closed after all!! Though there is a change of management, but at least the system is still in place. I like how the children are being taught, food being prepared, hygiene, safety etc... Will see how it goes in the next few months. My next prayer is that the principal will recuperate well after her surgery so that she can be back full fledge in the centre.

Some of the developments Missy shown after attending the centre are:
1. Sit still during meal times (It was tough and a struggle to feed her before this. We almost got to chase her!)
2. Increased vocabulary ie house, box, face features such as eyebrow
3. Cheekier of course

1 Timothy 6:17 "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment"

I so HATE COCKROACH !!

Arrggghhh!! Can someone please tell me why roaches exist in the first place? Why did God made them? Where does it fit into the food chain?! Nasty pesky pest! We have been having this "visitor" at least once a week since the arrival of our maid.. Hmmm, maybe it's because we started to cook more often now and whatever that is in the kitchen is attracting them.

And yesterday, there's one in the kitchen (expectantly) and I made sure my maid killed it. I stood there to make sure it is killed. If possible, just whack it to death and not by using those aerosol spray. AND then, one in our room. My hubby knew that I will not let it go until I see it with my own eyes, the dead body. No one, maybe except lil' missy who is still oblivous to this creature, will get to go through the night peacefully if it's not found. I will be jumping up and down, searching high and low.. paranoid that it will appear from no where. So, the six-legged creature must be killed! No choice and my hubby has to search high and low for it. Of course, I carry lil' missy into another room and watch from afar the hassle my hubby had to go through just to kill the roach for our peace of mind. 

Yes, I am very much afraid of roaches to the point I think I have katsaridaphobia. I can't even stand to be in the same room with a dead roach. And definitely a big NO if it's the flying type. This flying type will somehow fly to your direction! And stick on you?!! Aarrgghhhh!!  And if I ever encounter a roach, I will be the one 'flying' out of the room.  I get goose bumps at the sight of it's image even. It is the most 'eeewwww' insect!

I pray that there is no nest in my home but I fear the worst. So long hubby or maid is killing it for me, I shall just.. just wait. Unless I call for those pest controller.. Hmmm.. Why did God create them again?

When goodbye is so hard to say

It's a struggle for us to leave our lil' missy to work every morning. With her pouty lips, watery eyes... and a slight cry.. sigh... Though I anticipated this day will come but to really experience that kind of expression from her, it is tough! Can't wait for the weekend to come so that I can spend as much time as possible. Can't wait for the day when I could cuddle her as much as I want and not letting her grow too fast. Time just stops. Of course, it means that I stop aging too. No chance eh? I can imagine how my parents felt when I walked down the aisle with my dad towards my hubby few years ago, and my mom watching us from the front. Time flies for them and it will be soon for me.

My hubby turned down an offer recently. Good money but he has to be stationed far away, a neighbouring country. He turned it down so that he won't misses any of our lil' missy's growth. It wasn't easy for him when lil' missy pushed him away when he was only away for a week! What more when he can't be back that often, maybe once a month. And since we are also planning for the 2nd one later, career advancement will have to be put on hold for at least 5 years. Though there are times I wished that I could stay at home 24,7 for my lil' missy, still, I am thankful that we both have stable incomes. With escalating expenses in education and whatever not, it is not easy to be on single income as we have far too many commitments and responsibilities.I hope that our children need not worry about education when they are older like we both had to.

So for now, we hope that lil' missy will grow to understand that we miss her as much as she does when we are at work. Her tears will soon be ours when she's all grown up, walking down the aisle to her future hubby and I, watching by the side and say, "that's my girl".

Pregnant? Do I really look like I am pregnant?!

With that question posted to me, I decided to wear a corset to work for the first time! The flabby tummy just won't go away. I wonder if I had diligently worn it after delivery, maybe the muscle would have been firmer compare to now, hanging loosely. Definitely cannot blame when my colleagues make that comment. But it's sad to hear that. Gosh, now I must really cut down a little on my snacking. I love to snack at work. It keeps me awake after heavy lunch. Oh please don't ask me to cut down on my lunch. Breakfast and lunch are the only time I eat a lot. My appetite will somehow shrunk when it's dinner. Maybe I need to munch to keep the stress level down.Then again, I don't earn big bucks to deserve all the stress I feel I am getting. Hmmm... Back to my fatty, bouncy tummy. Would it made a difference if I had engaged a traditional masseur to give me the 'urut'? Or if I had worn the 'bengkung'? Maybe the saying is right. There isn't any ugly women, just lazy. I do fall into that category - L.A.Z.Y unfortunately.

I still remember when I met a gorgeous mommy for the first time and I was wearing a green three quarter pants and a grey t-shirts. I only realized how horrible I looked at my own reflection when I stepped out of the car. Gasp! Too late as I didn't have anything to cover up myself. Talk about first impression. I have surely failed that. Maybe I should really be going for a more regular maintenance ie facial, get new make up stuff. I think I have not used my lipsticks for ages. Yeah, I should be a good samaritan and doll myself up a little so that I don't scare people off. Let's do a bit of community work here right? Actually, I don't think I would like myself to turn up to be an aunty so soon when I am only 28. Hehe, you know I am just kidding right?

Well, I should really be doing something to look presentable! And it is not just for vanity, but as a lady, woman. I should do something for myself. Now, how or where or what should I start...

It melts our hearts when...

...she kisses us first thing in the morning.

And that's what happened 2 days ago. Not sure if she was still in the daze as she went back to sleep after kissing both of us. She sure knows how to capture our hearts.

Or...









Seeing her smiles in her sleep. Life must have been good to dream good smiley dreams, right?

A new attempt in the kitchen

I rarely cook as I mentioned in my earlier post and not to mention baking and ice cream making! Even my mom was hesitant to try my new attempt. Came across this blog, and tried the Berrylicious Yogurt Ice Cream. I can't resist to announce my first attempt making ice-cream as the author of the blog has really good recipes for new beginners like me. Good things must be shared, right? 

How was it? Well, my bro says it's not bad but I didn't pureed smooth enough. My mom, forgot to ask for her comment since she knew the reason I made it. You see, my mom came to take care of my child when my hubby is away, my bro came to bring my mom to his place and my hubby is returning on the same night. There are more people around with more mouths to try than just my hubby just in case it didn't turn out well. Wrong choice for the first time though as I don't take yogurt. So, I didn't try it. And my hubby?? Definitely not encouraging at all? But did it stop me from trying? I don't think so as I want to brush up skills for my child(ren). I need to learn right from somewhere right? Ok, next!

A week without hubby

I wouldn't be any easier if not for my mom who agreed to come down to look after our darling. I prefer such arrangement than the usual arrangement. And since my mom can make it, why not seize the opportunity! Thank God for my mom and a friend who stays few houses away.

Well, I of course would bring her to our room and to sleep with us. And I asked my mom to sleep with us too. For safety reason and also for comfort. Our room is the only room that has air-conditioner. Darling seems to be oblivious to the disappearance of her daddy after a few nights. Maybe it has been me who put her to sleep, accompany her until she dozes off. And so, when my hubby came back few days ago... She stared and stared at him! She pushed him away after a while!! Ouch! I feel for my hubby. So heartbreaking! What a short memory babies have! Darling, do you know that daddy was so sad when you pushed him away?

And today, when we brought her to her room, she cried! And we haven't even closed the safety gate. I thought she has short memory. No? She has selected memories! Well, of course we didn't put her in her room. We want her to get familiarize with her room again first before dumping having her sleep in her room. Meanwhile, I will continue to be her bolster, pillow and willingly to be one too.

Best confinement lady ever

I am thankful that I had the best CL after delivering my first child. Not only is she the best babysitter, she's the best CL ever! I've always known that she's one sought after babysitter. The children that she babysat will always come back during school holidays or festivals just to hang out at her place. And the mothers will always have good comments about her. I remember about a mom who mentioned that her second son could not get use to eating at home after she stopped sending him to the babysitter. Reason being, she doesn't eat brown rice or multi grain rice. And, she doesn't boil much soup too. This babysitter is not stingy at all. Generous with whatever nutritious meals she prepared for her own family. And this babysitter invited the parents of the first child she took care for her son's and daughters' weddings. If a person is not good, do you think others would continue to keep in touch?

And when I had her as my CL, she would at least tried her best to do away the Chinese beliefs. Especially ginger in all dishes. I've asked her to reduce the portion for at least 2 weeks as I was still breastfeeding and my darling was having a slight jaundice. She obliged after a few reminders as she was also worried of my health. Got to be patient with old people especially in doing away their beliefs and hence a few reminders.. And, chicken and pork seems to be a must in all meals during confinement. I asked for more vege instead as I prefer vege to meat. And she painstakingly thought of all the different style of cooking. And of all the different dishes, I love the stir-fry kale with ginger wine and lemongrass chicken chop. No pork for me though as I just had too much meat.

And when I am old, I don't mind to be like her. Confinement lady to my daughter and babysitter to my grand-daughter. It's tough and tiring to be one especially when one is old, but it brings back the sweet memories and bond of a mother-daughter. Thanks Mom!

Bachelorette party

Congratulations to a dear friend of mine who is getting married soon! And it was also the first time I am away alone at night with my girlfriends. ALONE! Well, it's a big deal to me as I have not been out since the birth of my darling. And well done to my hubby too for taking care of my darling whilst I was away. My darling was sound asleep when I was back. Bliss *all smiles*

And back to the topic, what do you normally do in a hens night/bachelorette party? Wine, dine and dance? Follow suit with games.. Laughter and fun at the expense of the bride-to-be? If I can turn back time, I rather have a simple, cosy and tight dinner with a few close friends. Hmmm, come to think of it, I did except for the games that came after. Challenging and pretty dangerous too... Then again, kudos to the organisers and am thankful for these friends. They make time for me, and that matters most. Ok, back to the hens night.It brought back memories and I surely enjoyed the time. Wish it was longer since it's so hard to catch up with everyone. It's a simple hens night where we had simple pot-bless (each bring a portion of food for everyone to share), some wine although I don't drink (forgotten that I was still breastfeeding!) and some questions for the bride-to-be. It will be awesome if we spend a night at her place just to catch up. But, but.. somehow, it's tough now being a mom. I have separation anxiety!

From the way I describe the hens night, it seems boring eh? Well, I just like to look at pictures of other hens night with all the crazy games. If it's my own or those I'm attending, I like it simple and intimate. Do you feel the same too? Or maybe it's just the boring me... Hmmm...

New Hubby!

Yes! You read it right. I have a new hubby now. A virtual one. My hubby is so hooked to the games in FB that we might as well communicate through FB. It may be his cave-in time but...but I am longing for attention. Time spent in the car on our way home does not count please. My love language has changed. Maybe I should list down my needs again and let him read them.. No point having him to guess. Besides, he may not even realized that my love tank is low. And I suspect his too since we have not really been spending quality time together. Hmmph. Still sulking alone.

Surviving Breastfeeding!

No one share much about breastfeeding during my pregnancy. Most of the times, it was always about eating healthily, the progress of my term etc. No one, no one has actually told me the new challenge that awaits me after delivery. It is not just about sleepless nights in meeting the demands of a newborn as a new mommy. It is the challenge to have enough supply for my baby!

I went online during my confinement just to check on websites about breastfeeding, talk to lots and lots of friends who have been successful in breastfeed. I still remember the miserable 10ml after each express in the first few weeks. I took comfort that my body is now producing for local demands, so don't expect mass production for export market. Some economic terms used in my pre-natal class. But it did not help further when my baby was introduced to formula, some more a special one for pre-mature baby as my darling was born slightly underweight. So, the stress was always there to feed her formula... Then, on 2nd week I decided to just let her latch on directly to boost the supply. It was not an easy decision either. Thankfully, I have supportive mom (though she has no experience in breastfeeding, not a choice for her time though) and my hubby...

And my darling is now 8 mo. My dilemma is whether I should stop or not. Before pregnant, I wanted to breastfeed for a year. And when I delivered, I thought 9 months should be good, then 6 months when I find breastfeeding is not as easy as it seems and then to 3 months to as long as I have the supply. My supply from 10ml from each time to 4 oz lasted through till now. Should I stop? Or should I continue? I have slowed down a lot and she's now on 50-50 formula and bm. Sigh, human (or maybe just me) is so weird right? Worry no matter which situation we are at. LOL!

Some good reads on breastfeeding:
http://www.llli.org/

http://www.mamababyworld.com/index.php/blogs/blogs/nobody_told_me_this_about_breastfeeding (author has her own blog too and it's interesting to learn from her ways of upbringing and juggling as a wife, doting mother and gorgeous woman.. and she has just recently became a working mom too!)